[Deep breath.]
WhenwillIhavetimetoworkontheideasthatI’vestockpiledImeanIhavesomanyprojectsbutIdon’thave thetimetodevotetothem,letalonetheenergy,becauseIhaveadayjobthatstretchesmytemperament beyondrecognitionwithcoworkersforwhom,shortofdivineintervention,Ifeellittlebutantipathy, andeventhoughIhavedivineinterventiontogetmethroughtheday,Istillcomehomecompletely wipedoutattheendofeveryworkdayandthatshootsholesinthetimeIdohaveforworkingonmywriting, notthatitmattersbecauseIdon’thavethefirstideahowtosellmyworkeffectivelysothatIcancreatea footholdformyself,whichiswhatitwilltakebecausewhatIwritedoesn’tquitefitthebasicpigeonholesofits genrewhichisalsothestoryofmylife,really,andI’veneverbeenabletoshakefreeofthatperpetualoddness that,true,somepeoplelearntoenjoyanyway,meincluded,butthefrustrationstillsometimesbuildsup becauseaslongasI’maliteraryoddityI’llneverbeabletoestablishacareerthatenablesmetodedicatemy timetodoingwhatIlove(writing,ofcourse)whilestillmakingaliving,andthatdiscouragesmenoend, whenwritingissupposedtocheermeupafteraharddayamongequallydifficultpeople.
[Deep breath.] Okay. Rant completed. I feel a little better now. Back to spring cleaning.
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